40 deep questions for couples to feel closer

Deep questions help you learn the things that don't come up on a normal Tuesday: what makes your partner feel loved, what they're scared of, and what they want your life to look like in ten years.

Take your time with these. One rule that helps: the person asking only listens and asks follow-ups, no fixing and no debating. Then swap.

1. 1.What's something you've never told anyone but want me to know?
2. 2.When do you feel most loved by me?
3. 3.What's a fear you carry that I might not see?
4. 4.What did your parents' relationship teach you about love?
5. 5.What do you want us to be like in 10 years?
6. 6.What's something I do that hurts you but you've never said?
7. 7.What do you need more of from me right now?
8. 8.Is there a fight we never really finished?
9. 9.What would you change about how we argue?
10. 10.Can you be fully yourself with me?
11. 11.What dream did you give up on that you'd like to restart?
12. 12.What's the best advice you ever ignored?
13. 13.Which day of your life would you relive?
14. 14.What are you proud of but never talk about?
15. 15.Who changed your life without knowing it?
16. 16.What did you need from me in that moment?
17. 17.What did you think I meant?
18. 18.What did I say that landed harder than I meant?
19. 19.What can we do differently next time?
20. 20.What do you love about us even when we fight?
21. 21.Are you a clean-as-you-go or clean-on-Sunday person?
22. 22.How should we split the bills?
23. 23.How much alone time do you need at home?
24. 24.Who gets the bigger side of the closet?
25. 25.What habit of yours will I discover in week one?
26. 26.What's a moment you felt really proud of us?
27. 27.What does a perfect ordinary day with me look like?
28. 28.What's something you're still healing from?
29. 29.How do you like to be comforted when you're sad?
30. 30.What's a belief you held strongly that you've changed your mind about?
31. 31.What from your childhood do you want to bring into our future, and what do you want to leave behind?
32. 32.When do you feel most like yourself?
33. 33.What's one thing you wish I asked you about more?
34. 34.What does "home" mean to you?
35. 35.What scares you most about the future?
36. 36.What's a way I've helped you grow?
37. 37.What's something you want to forgive yourself for?
38. 38.How can you tell I'm upset, even when I don't say it?
39. 39.What's a tradition you'd love for us to start?
40. 40.What do you hope people say about us?